I am mad. I got on the scales this morning fully expecting to see a certain number–stuck in my head as a good number–and instead, after a week of extremely low carbs, few calories and a ridiculous amount of exercise, what to my wondering eyes should appear? A number stuck in my head as a bad number, although not as bad as the other bad number at the beginning of the week that prompted this whole carb counting adventure. Well, that really bad number and my unzippable jeans.

So I have decided to rebel by making myself a faux Onyx coffee, which if you’d like the recipe, is two shots of espresso, foamy skim milk, a teaspoon of Breitsamer Mountain Flower Raw Honey (TJ Maxx if you’re lucky, amazon if not), 2 drops of Organic Bourbon Madagascar Vanilla (Sam’s), and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Wait just a moment. That sounds so good I think I’ll have another.

You can see I went a little too heavy on the cinnamon. But that’s okay. Cinnamon has no carbs that I know of. In another act of rebellion I will not look it up on my fitness pal. We are not pals today. Click To Tweet

All of you judgmental types are thinking how unhealthy this is. This being my decision to jump head first off of the carb and calorie counting wagon, or this being my decision ever to be on such a wagon in the first place, obsessing over weight to the point of creating a concoction of almond milk and half and half to avoid the relatively small carb load of skim milk in my coffee (which is infinitely better by the way). You know either path can lead me down a bad road. And you are right–both of you–which is why I tend to try to create a little space where I can live in between both points of view.

I am quite proud of myself for not adding a croissant with Nutella to my morning rebellion. Though the day is young.

At any rate, what I’m grateful for today as I sip my contraband, is a little space.

 

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