Yesterday was my birthday and I spent the bulk of it in meetings at Arkansas Tech University-Ozark Campus, where I work. I usually hate meetings because they are boring but my co-workers sang to me in the first one which was sweet and hilarious. In another meeting one of my favorite co-workers who teaches Automotive Repair Technology compared my classes to spinach—not appetizing but good for you—which was also hilarious. It’s probably the truth, too, and I don’t mind owning it. We should all eat more spinach and take liberal arts classes for the health and well-being of society. Even though I don’t like spinach much.
The best meeting, however, was one in which Dr. Jason Warnick, one of our Psychology professors, talked to us about combating burnout with self-care. I don’t know why self-care is so hard for me. It’s ridiculous. I honestly think it has to do with some wacky idea I picked up along my Christian journey about putting others first. Not that anyone intentionally indoctrinated me this way. But somehow I think I translated parts of the gospel into a lack of boundaries, believing it was Christlike in many cases not to have them. Even though I no longer believe that, I still struggle with putting on my own oxygen mask before assisting others, as the analogy goes. If that sounds like kindness, it’s not. Or at least that’s not all it is. I’ve come to see that it’s also laziness. For me at least, it’s often much easier to do something else than to deal with my own stuff.
Dr. Warnick gave us some interesting neuroscience on why we do stupid things that lead to burnout. Most insightful, though, were the tips he gave us for avoiding (or curing) it. He said one of the things he does is to keep a gratitude journal. He actually writes down ten things he’s thankful for each day. It leads him to look for the positive and helps him become a happier person. He throws his lists away, he said, because they are embarrassing. He encouraged us that we could throw ours away too; the important thing is to make them. But a writer like me would never do this. Writers like me send their lists out into the world.
I actually did that on this blog two Thanksgivings ago, in a piece called “Thanksgiving Therapy.” Reading back over that entry I realized I was really a psychology genius like Dr. Warnick. Why have I not followed my own advice? I don’t know. All I do know is that I’ve been on the dark side a little too much these past few months. Remember the Dung Beetle post? Well, it’s gone downhill from there. Heathcliff advised me after that one that I needed to write something positive. Notice I’ve not posted anything in several months.
As Micha Boyett reminds us that St. Benedict reminded her, “Always we begin again.” So today I’m beginning again, choosing the path of Grateful Girl instead of Anxiety Girl. Click To TweetWe’re going to call this new era on the blog the Gratefulness Project. Here’s my plan. For the next year I’m going to write letters expressing my gratitude and publish them here. I hope you’ll join me by commenting things for which you’re thankful or even write letters of your own. I know it sounds silly but that’s okay. It’s scientific—Dr. Warnick said so. And after writing about Dung Beetles, I figure I’ve got nothing to lose.
Here goes.
Dear God,
Thank You for giving me life for 45 years. Thank You for everything good in my life. There is so much good. Thank You also for helping me through things that are hard. Thank You for hope and peace and love; all things I believe in even though I can’t see them. I believe in You too even though I can’t see You and don’t understand You very much at all. Open my heart and mind through the Gratefulness Project and bless those who join me in being grateful, that we may become better people and create a better world.
Gwen
I am grateful for the people in my life. For today, my boys. Taylor with his intense drive for a good life and ever considerate behavior towards others. He is exactly what a gorgeous harmony does. Taylor complements and supports, moves molten rock underneath and before you know it, your landscape has subtley shifted ever so slightly into the next moment. My other boy Thomas with his blunt honesty and validating charm. He is my right-hand-man. With arm around me, patting me on the back, voicing how hard I work while simultaneously pushing me to stay on “the schedule.” On point at all times and convinced he sleeps better in my bed than his. They love me, and I love them. You are right. Gratitude heals.
Oh my Jennifer Fuson, I am just reading this and you have me in tears. Good tears though. I have watched you from the vantage point of social media as you’ve walked through loss with the utmost grace, dignity, and beauty. I am constantly inspired by you. Sounds like your boys are a lot like their mother and father. I am so lucky to have known you both.
Hello, I just wanted to say that I’m grateful for anything that happens to me. No matter how complex or confusing that might be, bad or good, it’s true all the same.
I’m thankful to be alive, healthy, smart, without a frown, without a hungry belly, without wondering how am I gonna pay the bills, etc. I made a promise to myself ever since I was a child, believe God is in control 100%.
Do you understand the caliber of that statement? 100% in control. That means if I’m on my deathbed with burns and cuts all over my body, if I get some strange disease that’s incurable, if I’m alone, unhappy, with a life that’s in chaos… God’s got this.
That’s a bold statement of faith. Thank you for sharing it!
I am thankful that I have the opportunity to make a better life for myself.
Isn’t that something? What a wonderful gift. Proud of you!
Im thankful for my health and that I am no longer on a transplant list. Im thankful for my salvation
Wow, that’s amazing. Bless you!
I am grateful for my family, for my husband, for new beginnings, I am grateful for life
Oh yes, Brenda. Always we begin again. Thank you for sharing!
I am thankful too for many things! First my mother, she is everything to me. My support system most of all. I am thankful that God gave me such an amazing life to be able to lead others and live my life to the fullest serving him. Thankful for a baby brother and nephew that He has put into my life. Some times I sit back and thank about how I take school and my religion for granted…I can go to school and become anything that I want to be and I won’t get killed or put into jail for worshiping God. Very thankful for that. I am a big supporter of the law enforcement and all the sacrifices that they do for us and for our military for everything that they go through so we don’t have to. I could go on and on about what I am thankful for but my life wouldn’t be anything without the man upstairs. Thank you Jesus!
Beautiful thoughts, Morgan. Thank you for sharing them!
Awesome website!
Thank you Justin. Would you be willing to share something you are grateful for?
I’m grateful for the opportunity to further my education.
That’s a big deal, Jacob. I’m grateful you’re in my class.
I am grateful for my huge family. I can count on each one of my family members to be there for me when I need them.
Thank you for commenting, Lexi. That is a wonderful thing, to know you can count on your family. What a blessing.
I am thankful for my kids, my husband, my parent.
Thank you Shirley!
I’m grateful for my family, friends, and especially my daughter Abbi.
I’m grateful for you Christie!
There are far too many things to list on here that I am thankful for. If I had to narrow it down though, I would be most thankful for my son, Izaiah. He has given me inspiration to do things I never thought possible.
I love that, Brandon. I could say the same of my kids. They bring out the best in me. Thanks for sharing.
There are so many things to be thankful for! I’m grateful for my parents. They gave me and my siblings a better opportunity by coming to America. My son, Odin, led me to see the beauty in life more than ever. He’s my happy place when things seem bad. Lastly, I’m extremely grateful for my husband. He an awesome handyman, mechanic, father, husband, and cook. I can’t ask for more than that when it comes to him.