Each semester in my freshman Comp classes my students read How it Feels to be Colored Me by Zora Neale Hurston. We discuss this marvelous essay and then the students write their own. It’s a brilliant exercise in introspection that I am particularly fond of imposing on others. I rarely engage in it myself, you understand. I am the all-powerful professor with research to do, meetings to attend, and papers to grade. Besides, introspection is hard.
Since I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for years, but never know where to begin, I decided to assign myself this first blog entry. As I sit here in my pajamas in front of the computer my hands are sweaty and shaky and my heart beats fast. This is probably a bad idea. But I tell myself no one will read it except my mother and Heathcliff (sister-in-law), and they won’t judge me. They already know it all and love me anyway.I am a Christian and technically Southern Baptist, but those labels concern me because of what they’ve come to mean to a lot of people. I want them to mean that I love Jesus and gay people and everyone else, and that I’m here to be a problem solver, caretaker of the earth, and reliever of suffering. I want them to mean I’m Bible literate. Culture engaged. That I have no agenda—just grace. I want them to mean that I struggle with doubt and failure and that’s okay; it’s honest. But on the world stage I think those terms mean Mike Huckabee. At best, misguided; at worst delusional, ignorant, and arrogant.
I am from a small town in the south and I am white. I want that to mean that I love fried food, country music, and black people. I want it to mean that I’m friendly, hospitable, and kind. That I know the value of simple things like sitting in the porch swing with my husband, watching our kids chase lightning bugs. That I’m a hard worker. That I know how to garden and can tomatoes and make wild muscadine jelly. I want it to mean that I’m proud of Flannery O’Connor, Maya Angelou, and Johnny Cash, and ashamed of the south’s heritage of hate. I’d never live anywhere else but Arkansas and yet I’m so ashamed, and so sorry for the dark parts of our history that I’d like to burn every confederate flag I see (and that’s a lot of flags).
I’m also a mom. I think my kids are the most amazing humans on the planet and yet I worry every day that I’m messing them up. My home is on a farm called the Triple F Ranch. We have a sort of clan-style arrangement with my brother and Heathcliff’s house on one side of ours and my parents’ on the other. It’s the only place in the world where I really fit in. I teach English at a college, write books, and play the piano at my church; and I try to be healthy by exercising and eating mindfully because I was once very addicted to food. Actually, I still am. But I work at not letting that control me every day.
Which is why I must wrap this up. Gotta run.
I have no agenda--just grace. Click To TweetPs. Photo is my response to Heathcliff’s text asking what I am wearing today. Thought since I was baring my soul I might as well start with an honest picture too.
A beautiful introduction to a beautiful person with so much goodness to share. Cannot wait for updates from the idyllic mountaintop. Share it all, Gwen. The heartache, joy, stuggles, the moments of peace and how you find them, we need it all! Love
Thank you my dear darling!
I’m sure your children will grow to be just as awesome as you are in your beliefs.
I am giddy over this website. And a little jealous, because I wish I’d written these lines, Gwen. “I want them to mean that I love Jesus and gay people and everyone else, and that I’m here to be a problem solver, caretaker of the earth, and reliever of suffering. I want them to mean I’m Bible literate. Culture engaged. That I have no agenda—just grace.”
You make me want to be better. So thank you! “Just grace.” What an brilliant idea.
You make me want to be better too Marla–at writing and life. You’re my hero!
Its very interesting Mrs. Faulkenberry!
Thank you Brittany!
I love how you’re not afraid to tell people you are a Christian! You love all people whatever their live style is. And you are trying to help them in anyway possible! It’s a good read Mrs. Faulkenberry!
Thank you Kristen-not-KEERStin! Way to find that thesis!
Mrs. Faulkenberry,
I love the blog and look forward to reading more! You are a very talented writer and very well spoken. I also commend you for your courage to tell about your beliefs and what you stand for!
Thank you James! You’re a keeper!
Amazing !!!
Thank you Jodie!
You know how much I love you, my dear!! I’m so very happy that you stepped out of your comfort zone to start this web site and blog. I will be eagerly reading all your posts.
Thank you my friend. Love you too!
love this post! Love YOU!!!
Thank you for your authenticity as a pastor’s wife, Danielle. You inspire me!
Very interesting!
Thank you Kelli!
Great job Gwen. I always enjoy your writing. Now I am a follower here too.
Appreciate your encouragement Nancy!
I have bookmarked your website and look forward to reading your blogs. I love that you boldly say you are a Christian, and admit your flaws that show others that His Grace is what forgives the flaws.
Wow! I respect you so much, Renee. Thank you!
Gwen you have become all that I thought you would….an extension of an amazing set of parents but one who is totally unique and beautiful and brilliant. I hope at some point on this blog you will write a few stories about James and Janie. If you need any help I can tell you a few. 🙂 With much applause for all you have accomplished and for all that is to come, and with heaps of love thrown in….Marlene
What a wonderful surprise to see you here, Marlene! Thanks for your kind words. They mean so much to me.
It’s an amazing website and she’s an great artist and everyone should read her books
Morgen, you make me smile. Thanks!
Right on! I need to get me one of these books, they look like they’re really good!!
Justin, just click on the links. Happy to sign hundreds of copies for you! Ha!
YOU ARE A MARVELOUS CREATION.
{you make the world a lovely [work]place… thank you}
STAY AMAZING, my love.
<3
YOU stay amazing, Amazing Grace. Love you forever!
A beautyful site for a beautyful mind. How very fitting!! 🙂 I wish you lots of luck, you are a wonderful writer and I love your first blog and “about me”!
Thank you my sister across the sea! Love you so!
I loved reading your first blog post and look forward to reading many more! When I say that I love being a southerner and that I am a Christian, I too want them to mean all of those things! Being a mom of 6, I also have the same fears about my children, somehow I believe that with you as their mom, they are going to turn out just fine! Thanks again for letting us in on your blog! Im so glad I got the opportunity to be in your class. See you Thursday!
You rock the house Sherri Boswell!
Nice piece of writing and good start, I would say. Best of luck in this new adventure.
Thank you so much.
Beautifully stated.
Thank you my love! Miss you!
Gwen, you should introspect more often. Your first post is a beautiful beginning.
Thank you Joanie! I hope you’ll guest blog for me sometime. I love reading about all of your adventures!
First of all I think it’s safe to say that not only mom and Heathcliff read the job!! ?
I just had to tell you how much I admire you and as others have said, you simply make me want to be a better me!! Thank you for your inspiration. I look forward to reading more.
Ha ha! I don’t think my mom has even read it yet! But I’m so thankful for you and the others who have. Great to see you here, Sistah.
I love that: “no agenda, just grace.” Thank you for sharing your blog with us.
Thank you for reading, Penny. I love it too. I’m finding it easier to say than it is to live, like a lot of things. But I’m trying!
I like your style. And u are a awesome teacher and u are a country girl. I like this, it is good. Your books look good too I’ll have to buy one or maybe all of them. You stay awesome and I like your first blog.
I like your style too Stephanie! Thanks so much.
I loved reading your first post!❤️ Can’t wait to see where this goes for you!
Thank you my friend. Your hope ring will be featured in an upcoming post. Stay tuned!
Your honesty is intriguing. I’m very interested in anything you have to say?
Thank you Carrie. Love you and your family.
Gwen,
You are amazing! I loved your first blog because I love you and see you live out your aspirations in your every day life. I admire your talent, your honesty and your quest for goodness. I am beyond blessed to have you in my life, my forever friend!
Thank you Cha Cha. You inspire me every day. Miss you.
This is awesome Mrs. Faulkenberry! (Sorry for the unoriginal words and if the next part sounds weird.)
I think that for a fist day of a new class for your introduction you should send them here, so they would fell closer to you by reading this.
Thank you sweetie!
I did this assignment in Comp I and I loved it. I think it’s interesting to see a teacher’s spin on this assignment. It’s also nice to get a better idea of who you are.
Glad you loved it, Olivia. I loved reading yours!
I must say you are off to a great start just by the fact that you are honest. Not many people out there that will throw their personal life and views out there for the world to see. Much respect.
Thank you!
I LOVE this post. Looking forward to many more! You ROCK, GWEN! xoxo
Great to see you here old friend! Thanks so much.
Your first blog was by all means a great success! I look forward to reading many more of them.
Thank you Amanda. Very kind.
It’s nice to get an idea of who you are as a person and I respect your transparency. My only other comment would be for you not to worry so much of what others think. Just keep being awesome and keep making your student’s lives a little more stressful!
Ha ha! I’ll do my best Cody!
Very good! Great website!
Thank you Derek!
Great blog Mrs. Faulkenberry
Great blog
Thank you Isaac!
Hi Mrs. Faulkenberry, really enjoyed reading your blog. I bet it felt good to open up the way you did. See you in class today. 🙂
Feels good kind of like a root canal. But your comment makes me happy!
Love it! Its a good way to really tell people who you are.
Thank you Sugar Cane!
That was beautiful Mrs. Faulkenberry and so are you! Thanks for sharing your blog with us, I really enjoyed it. You are such a devoted person and I admire that about you. I can’t wait to read some of your books and share your blog with my family.
You’re pretty awesome yourself Chilai! Thanks for the encouragement.
All I realy have to say is well wow.
Well, wow back at you DeeAnna! Thanks for reading.
this is so much better than the burnt chicken i’m eating, and the child screaming in my ear. gives me inspiration. ha 🙂
Epic comment Jordan! I think there’s a writer in you!
Awesome!!! That is a very inspirational piece of writing… Also, I am planning on reading more of your wonderful books!!!!!!
Whoo hoo!
Your writing is beautiful! I hope I can learn from you and become a writer as well!!
Thank you Julia! I love having you in class.
You did a good job Ms. Faulkenberry.
Haha! I’m glad you approve, Jovani.
Loved it. It explains you with simple explanation and straight to the point. I fell like I know you now. 😉
Thank you Skye!
great blog and by the way im here lol
Muchas gracias Eduardo of the Tower!
You did a good job
Muchas gracias Oscar!
I admire the fact that you are so proud to being a christian. Although I do not agree with everything that you have said, I wish that more people would stand up for what they believe in like you have done. Awesome Blog!!
Thank you Raylynn. I like your honesty!
i really love how you aren’t afraid to express yourself. i love the way you describe things. honestly we need more people to be more like you. more acceptance of things more people to realize people are just people and not set everyone top a certain standard.we all should be hand and hand and not knife and hand. i get so tired and so ashamed of my generation and others.on another not….. i love how you express yourself!you truly are a great writer. i havent found many books i like to read but the way you write just in that blog made me interested. anyway have a good day.
corrections
everyone too
on another note*
You made my day Sabrina! Thank you!
Love this! looking forward to reading some of your books.
Thank you Mckenna!
I really like it. I think you did amazing job.
Thank you so much!
You’re a beautiful writer.
So are you Joy Rogers!
I think that was a great comment, I agree with a lot of what you said but not all of it. I respect your courage to say how YOU feel and not worry how everyone takes it.
Thanks Melanie!
Awesome responses to first blog post. You go, girl!
Thank you my friend!
I love this! I am a little jealous however. I wish i could write as well as you! You are very talented, and you are also a great teacher! I know it has only been a month in class, but i have learned alot from your class so far. My boyfriend loves to write and he always gets excited when i talk about what i have learned from you for the day!
Well, I am learning a lot from you as well. You’re a great person! Love.
Impressive!
Thank you sweet Sydnie.
Awesome read! I love being in your class. It challenges me in my creativity! I love having a Godly Professor! Can’t wait to read more of your writings!
Thank you Tania!
I really look forward to the opportunity to engage in your ideas, your concerns, your interpretation of the world around you, and think deeply about your viewpoint. We are both “Southern Baptist” – sort of , have lived in the same area, are the same age, have the same friends, and are introspective and engaging. I’ve enjoyed talks with you and you’ve touched me and fed me through our conversations. You have different views than I do sometimes, and I am excited to explore your ideas and get to know you more. I will be commenting!
Maybe there is someone else as weird as me! Whoo hoo! Can’t wait to learn from you Kat.
I might just order a book :)! It was great!
Saweeeetttt!
I love this blog! It is so great! You inspire a lot of people! Don’t ever stop!(:
Thank you Tayler! Love you!
Love your new blog, Gwen!!!
Thanks so much Jessie! I bet you have plenty to say about bringing up boys–love you and your little rascals!
Mrs. Faulkenberry,
I really enjoyed both entries to your blog! I am thoroughly enjoying your class also. The pj pic really captures your personality. I will be back to read more entries, keep them coming!!
I enjoyed this blog!
Thank you for sharing your gift with everyone! ?
Thank you Kayla! Glad you like it.
Gwen,
I hope we meet one day!! I’m hooked on your writings ever since sweet Cheryl sent me several of your books.. I’m married to the “other” Steve Smith?? for almost 52 yrs. now! Love my Stevie (he may get me for the Stevie) and Cheryl…
Keep on with the blog and the books! God has given you an incredible gift to witness…
Hugs,
Ann
Hugs back at you! So glad to see you here!
Loved this!
Even though I hate reading books, I am going to defiantly have to read some of your books!
Ha ha! Great!
It makes me so happy to see one of my teachers that is southern, yet still so open minded & looks at the other side of things even though many people of the south cannot ( better said as will not). I love your stories you tell in class & look forward to the rest of your blogs! I admire you & your amazing ability to write.
Thank you Brooke. You have so much talent. I admire you for the life you are building.
Love love love this!!! You are amazing!!!
Thanks so much. You’re pretty amazing yourself!
I came to read this to get to know more about you. The first day of your class I came home and told my boyfriend that I already know I’m going to enjoy your class. And so far I was right, but I also wanted to read this because I am You. Your lifestyle is the style I live and will have when I get married and have kids. I think you are a beautiful person inside and out and I really enjoyed your piece on how it feels to be you. I think you did a great job. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you very much, Alex. I’m lucky to have you in class!
i really enjoyed what you had to say. It reminds me of when we went over this a year ago in comp 11
Thanks Tooley!
I really enjoyed this entry. The discussion last class was very interesting.
Thank you Vernon. And thanks for sharing in class. You have great insights!
This is really good. I love how you tell who you are and what you stand for. Most don’t do that anymore. You are going to do very good at this . God bless you and give you the courage and the grace! Very interesting.
The courage and the grace! That’s what we all need, isn’t it. Thank you girl.
I love this and fried foods too. Sounds to me like the way your house is set up is exactly how i want mine. Thank you for always guiding me in the right direction in comp 1
Being a parent of 4 myself, I think we always feel we are not doing good enough but that we worry says we care. They may not think that till they are older but…. well their kids
I hope you are right, Bobbie!