Something happened yesterday, something big for our family. A chapter ended. A door closed. It challenged us on many levels as Christians, parents, teachers, and for Stone, as a coach. Our daughter Grace quit basketball.
We knew it might happen at any time. We’ve spent long hours in contemplation, conversation, prayer. We gave our permission long ago. But when it finally happened yesterday, somehow it was still a shock. And although the shock faded quickly into relief, this morning relief has morphed into utter joy, prompting me to write this letter:
My dearest Grace,
I am so proud of you. You are brave and strong. You have done the right thing—a hard thing—with grace and dignity.
As your mom it feels so weird to talk about quitting as the right thing, just as I know it has been hard for you to think about quitting as the right thing. That’s because we are not quitters. It’s something we just don’t do. Our family is all about hanging in there with each other and facing adversity, not leaving when the going gets tough, whether it’s marriage or church or our jobs or Algebra. Quitting is mostly a bad thing in our vocabulary. And I want it to stay that way.
But I want something else for you too, baby. Something I see in this situation that is really painful, but so beautiful and right. You found something you wanted and went after it. You committed yourself with your whole heart. You worked hard. You faced difficulties and kept going. You wrestled. You fell and got back up. You prayed. You gave grace to yourself and others. You cried. You sought advice from wise people. And after a reasonable time, you faced the fact that it wasn’t working, and there was nothing more you could do to make that happen. Then—wait for it—here comes the most beautiful part. You had to courage to walk away. You let it go because to keep holding on was not healthy for you. Bravo!
I heard your friend ask why you quit, probing for details from a heart of concern. And I was proud of how you answered. You said, “I have no beef with the coach or the other girls on the team. It was just something I needed to do.” That was so classy. And even though it may be hard as you walk through the halls of Junior High School in the next few days, stick to it. Tell your truth in love and kindness. This sets you and others free.
I hope you remember this for the rest of your life—that you are too brave and strong to quit unless quitting is the bravest, strongest thing to do. Click To Tweet When there’s a relationship that’s toxic to your soul. When there’s a place that’s not safe for you to be. When there’s a decision that takes you down a bad path. Whenever your hard work and commitment are not enough to create what you need for your own health and well-being, no matter what it is, walk away. Jesus walks with you. And I’ll be cheering you on.
And now, since you are so fond of the music of my generation, and love it so much when I rap to get my point across, I’d like to close with some lyrics from M.C. Hammer, adapted by yours truly for this very important milestone.
Too legit…too legit to quit [x3]
I don’t quit no!
I just press harder (Yeah!) than I ever did before
Going for the dreams that I have in store in my mind (mind)
And I know that I’m makin it cause Gracie don’t play
She’s kickin at the top cause she’s too legit to quit
Only sometimes she’s too legit to NOT quit
Yeah baby!
Love you forever,
Mommy
*Photo and cap credits go to Alex Marshall
Way to go Gwen!! Good parenting.
Thank you Nancy! My kids teach me a lot.
Grace is so much more than basketball. She is love and kindnes. She is an artist, an author, a role model, a helping hand, an inspiration.
I’m glad she was strong enough to make a decision that she felt was best for her. Way to go, Gracie!
The beautiful Mrs. Morland weighs in, and creates our mantra for this experience. Grace is so much more than basketball. How I love that! It has been repeated many times in our home the last few days and will stick with her forever, I believe, as it will stick with me. In fact I’m substituting words for basketball right and left with every difficulty I encounter. I am more than the number on the scales. I am more than my imperfect skin. I am more than this mistake or that one, more than what anybody else says or thinks, more than burnt dinner or a cluttered house or this mound of papers I’ve failed to finish grading. Thank you for living this wisdom and writing it on the hearts of your students. We love you forever!
yeah, go Grace go!!!
Mommy across the sea!
I want to hug you and Grace right now. What a wonderful, kind, strong person she is. And I couldn’t be prouder that she’s being taught this lesson that most of us are still trying to figure out. (I kinda feel like you’re writing a marvelous book we’re all getting to preview and it feels wonderful.)
Feelin the love, Marla! And it means a lot.
You know, I have thought about that a lot–how most of us are still trying to figure this lesson out. It is sooooo hard. I didn’t really learn it till I was an adult, and of course it’s one I think we keep learning over and over. But that first time–the first time you really learn it–is an anchor for the soul, isn’t it. Kind of a place to return to and remember, and gather strength to face the next time. I think this will be that place for her and serve her well. Hope so anyway!
Grace is a child who is so full of the Holy Spirit that she blesses whomever she touches. She handled her situation like her name, with Grace and you are an awesome Mom to nurture that beautiful Blessing Child!
Thank you Mrs. Bonnie. We are all so thankful for your sweet presence in our lives. Love you much!
As one of Grace’s biggest fans, there are not enough hours in the day for her to accomplish all she wants. It is hard to know what to let go of and what to embrace, and knowing when to quit is important for balance. Way to go Grace, such maturity for your years.
We are definitely your fans as well, Mrs. Emrick! Thank you for nurturing the souls of your students as well as their minds. You are a rock star! Love you.
I loved this! We went through the same thing with Trenton when he quit football after the season last year. It was difficult for him to do but I was so proud of the way he handled it. The coaches were not easy on him but he took it all with a smile and is a better person because of it. I will be praying for Grace as I know it may not be easy at times.
Meredith,
Thanks for sharing that story. Important life lessons, huh. Appreciate your family so much, and the prayers.
Love,
Gwen
Facing the same situation at our house too. Been through much pain with it all. Thought God was just refining him through some circumstances which made my stomach hurt with pain. But even though it has been sad to give it up, I am excited to see what God has for him. So hard to know sometimes if He is trying to refine us and make us stronger or when it’s time to let go. In just don’t know sometimes. Loved your positive feedback on a hard subject!
Carrie,
I feel you. Sending your family my love and prayers. You are strong, brave, and wise. So thankful we’re in this together.
G